BULIMIC

I remember my stomach being content

 but my mind was not

 My eyes kept darting back and forth

 at those candies on a stick

bread on the tray

spread all the way with butter.

I decided to satisfy the hunger

not in my tummy

but in my soul.

I ate and I ate

everything sweet

everything spicy

never finding the balance

and so

I ate and I ate

I wanted to stop

but my hands reached out

as if controlled by desire

and not of need.

But then I reached saturation,

a point where no matter could be ingested anymore

and then flooded the emotions

of guilt, disgust, anger.

I wanted it to stop

I wanted my stomach to stop hurting,

my mind from demanding

and my emotions from torturing.

I walked to the cleansing station

bent over the tool,

I put two fingers in,

my mouth adjusting itself

and then came out-

the whole world,

fighting for air and

I collapsed on the bathroom floor.

It took five minutes to wash my face,

dry my eyes

remove the stench of vomit.

As I walked past my mirror

I stood there and looked at my body

and then I smiled and  said to myself-

I am bulimic and I need to love myself.

~Freida

(Mind is an organ that is controlled by the mind itself. The greatest of the greatest, it governs us and takes over us in ways not understandable to science.

Bulimia nervosa, a form of eating disorder is one of the two types of eating disorders that exists in the world. People suffering from bulimia nervosa often undergo pangs of guilt, depression and extreme obsession of body image. The body is to love not to scar. Love yourself just the way you are because the universe created you with all your flaws so you can love yourself).

Depressed child

Advertisements

One thought on “BULIMIC

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s